I had grown up in a Christian family and so I knew about God all my life. Before I had given my life to Jesus I was filled with anxiety, depression, and I wanted to control everything. I was constantly scared of everything, especially rejection. I was scared at what kind of life I might lead myself too. So, with this fear I would try to control everything, or in a sense fight my own battles all the time. I would become so exhausted of trying to do everything my way that I would fall into depressive episodes that would sometimes get very bad. When I went off to my first year in college, nearly 14 hours away from home, everything got a lot harder. I wasn’t with family anymore, I was alone, and my anxiety and depression caught up to me. However, I remember the feeling I would get when I was in church, and how wholesome I felt and how much I missed that feeling. So I then came to the understanding that all these awful thoughts I was thinking, or some of the things I was doing to myself that the only one who could make me feel better again was God.
When I received Christ as my Lord and Savior it was when I was at rock bottom not only physically but mentally as well. My anxiety and depression were both at an all time high. It had become so bad that I had to be taken to the emergency counseling unit at my university. My best friends sister that I had gotten close with passed away, and I was also very far from home. I felt alone. That night I had been transferred to the emergency counseling unit I walked back to my dorm and decided to receive Christ as my Lord and Savior. I pulled out a booklet I had actually gotten from HDC that had a prayer inside of it to accept Christ into my life, and I also pulled out a pocket bible that I had and highlight as many verses as I could that would help me to know that Christ was there for me. I laid down on my bed said the prayer, read the bible and I cried the whole time asking God to forgive me for all of the awful thoughts I had been thinking, and how I might have doubted him. I knew the only way for me to get through this rough patch would be with him. I surrendered everything over to him. I gave up trying to control every aspect of my life, I stopped focusing on certain subjects that would cause me anxiety or depression. I trusted in him that he would get me through this.
Once I had accepted Christ into my life everything changed for the better. I switched universities, I am now attending Arizona State University rather than Humboldt State University. It is a lot sunnier and warmer which makes it easier for me to have a great day. I joined a christian club at my new campus called Chi Alpha. It was one of the best things I had ever done. I got to meet many more people who were believers. I even got one of my friends who was struggling with their relationship with God to pursue a relationship with him. I now have an influence on my family as well because my brother and sister are choosing to receive Christ. I do still struggle with anxiety and depression but I no longer fear what might be ahead instead I surrender to him, and trust that he will guide me through it all.