When God aligns, He aligns. There was definitely no lack in me knowing that I wanted to be baptized. It just seemed every time I'd look into it something else would come up. I knew I didn't want this year to end without getting it done.
I wasn't born with the tendency to have control of things. Passed relationships lead me to it. Having control meant that I wouldn't put myself in a position to be hurt again...I became addicted to the feeling. So much so that it has affected my current relationships at home with my daughter(s) and my husband. I expect of them, I place the bar high in a way that ends up disappointing all involved and at the same time hurting us. The very thing that I am trying to avoid is exactly what ends up happening.
It's a work in progress but I've learned that I can't. All my efforts can't make the changes) that only God can. Surrendering control is hard, but it feels good at the same time. Knowing I can give it all to God knowing He'll take care of me, feels good. And even though I'll still facing hurdles I know I can because of HIM.
I want to share the testimony of Jesus with my Oikos because the sad reality is that we live in a day when knowing, loving and believing is going out of style too fast. It scares me of what the world is becoming, so if God can use me and my story for His purpose then I'm all in.