VV Baptism Testimonies

Patty Marlow

The moment I realized I needed Christ in my life was when I was reflecting on how my life was going. Life just seemed hard or unfair through my eyes and I was tired of feeling selfish.  I was thinking, "Well what about me?" all the time. I knew and loved God but I didn't really let him take control.  I did all the controlling in my life and everything I did. Even if things were happening great, I never once thanked him, I mean, truly thanked him! When I finally let go and give it to God is when I noticed a changed in my heart and the selfishness began to fade away.  Before Jesus came into my life, I was so selfish, I wanted everything about me. I never wanted to marry, I thought life would be easier if I had a child so that someone would love me because I didn't really feel love through my life.  Marriage wasn't something I wanted or thought was for me.  I grew up with parents who were married but I never recalled them practicing good marriage values, there were a lot of arguments, verbally and physically. And the final witness to a broken marriage was, adultery. I didn't want to put myself in a situation like that. So, it was easier to have a child young and if their were issues, I could leave. Never understanding what a family and marriage commitment was about, since I never had those values taught to me early on. I had a second child,  but still didn't wish to be married, I wasn't there yet.   I t wasn't until the year of 2012, HDC preached all about marriage and family! So we made the commitment and married that summer! For the first time, I felt God blessing me with what he wanted me to have, I just had to go through dark times to realize God loves me like God loves the church! I had my heart open up more, but I was still weak and didn't know how to overcome my weakness through God yet. In August 2014, I felt and heard the devil strongly again, I was going through a hard time with work and let the "what about me" affected me once again. And I was letting his words get to my head and said I don't belong in this world! My boys are better off without me and I don't want to fight with my husband with my depression. It was getting to the point I was going over and over how and when I should not be here anymore. The last day when I was going to decide to, my husband comes home with a rental DVD, "God's Not Dead." We watched it and I remember sitting in my room, crying and begging God to forgive me for thinking those thoughts and not seeing my life as a blessing. Everyone goes through hard times, but I didn't let God carry my pail and still held on to it all and still kept taking control of my life. From that day, I've felt stronger and stronger that God loves me and is with me. All the things that made me sad before or worried about or anything that the devil wants me to remember or carry, I don't allow anymore. I have a big and loving God, and I know He’s always with me and he will help me through my pains and worries. Life is different now because God is the center of my life in all I do, I pray and talk to him daily which is something that I never did before. My family and myself pray together as a family, and we talk about God and Jesus all the time. Since accepting Jesus as my savior, I've even started talking about him with fellow co-workers who love and want to know more about God and who Jesus is!  Since praying the ABC's, they have changed my heart for the better and I'm not afraid to let God take over my life! I want my walk with Jesus to be stronger than ever before and I feel God pulling on my heart telling me that getting baptizing is the first step to making it stronger!