Growing up was rough. I didn’t grow up in a Christian household at all. Since the day I was born, I was raised in a home full of turmoil and lots of ungodly behavior. My parents divorced when I was 7 years old and my father was always in and out of our lives. Mostly out. My mom was left to raise me and my sister, which was very hard and forced her to always be gone working. All of this caused tons of anger, resentment, and bitterness inside of me. I always believed there was a God and that Jesus died for our sins, because that’s what I was told but that’s where it ended. I never really knew Him or had any sorts of relationship with Him.
It only got worse when I became a teenager. I was so lost, broken and miserable. I had little to no self esteem and never truly liked myself. I went down a very dark path. I remember searching and searching for love and acceptance in people. Little did I know, that all I had to do was come to Jesus! I then became a young mom to a baby boy. About a year later was the very first time I came to Christ. I remember so clearly, crying in my grandmother’s guest room. Thinking about how hard my life has been and not able to understand why it has been such a struggle. In the midst of crying I glanced over to the nightstand that had a bible on it. When I begin reading, that’s when the real tears came and I just remember crying out to my Heavenly Father for help.
Although I prayed to Jesus that night, I still continued to live my life in my own flesh. I still didn’t have a relationship with Him. I totally wish I would have because life would have been soo much easier from that point! When I was about 24 years old, I met a women at my son’s school that was noticeably filled with the Holy Spirit. This dear friend of mine introduced me to our Savior and it was then during one of our studies that I can honestly say that I felt the Holy spirit tugging on my heart! Through our studies and with guidance, I was able to learn how to give over all of that anger, resentment and bitterness that wrecked havoc on my life. I can’t even describe in words the feeling that overcomes you when you lay it all down for the Lord! It is then when I began to know and understand who Christ really is and what he can do for us!
So at that point, I knew Him, but I did not live my life like Him. As our pastors would say, I liked having one foot in and one foot out. For a while I was still conformed to this world.
Overtime, Christ has opened my eyes to how important it is to FULLY commit yourself to the Lord in order to live out your life like Him. I am ready to live my life 100% for the Lord, do everything to the glory of Him, and do whatever is in His will for me. I have a burning desire to build my relationship and get on a deeper level with Jesus, daily. I’m so grateful for the special people that God brought into my life to help me along the way! I will continue to praise HIM everyday for saving me and forming me into a women of Christ!