I grew up in the Catholic faith. I was baptized as an infant. Church attendance was mandatory through the 8th grade. I started to stray from Jesus during high school and continued to stray throughout the rest of my adulthood. I don’t remember ever consciously accepting Jesus into my heart (until recently of course). Toward the end of 2013, I hit a very deep depression. I was very lonely. Some friendships I valued fell apart. I had no nearby family to talk to. I’d given up any hope of ever being happy again. I’d accepted “miserable” as the new status quo.
I’ve relied on myself for so long, that I assumed much of my successes were of my own making through hard work alone. I prided myself on making it my own way and not relying on any special favors or cutting corners. It became clear late last year that all of my self-reliance and self-centeredness had done nothing to improve my lonely relational world. In fact, it had cost me many friendships. Every time I pursued career advancement, I did so at the cost of my relationships. I was very alone.
I don’t remember the exact moment I fully accepted and committed to Christ. I began attending HDC for something to do...for the music…to do something on a lonely Saturday besides feeling sorry for myself. My first day at church was the first day of the study of Hebrews, a letter to new Christians imploring them not to return to their old ways. That was a sign for me! I learned so much about “being Christian” from that study. Somewhere along the way, I received Christ.
I have humbled myself before God. I have accepted that all of MY accomplishments and achievements were a result of His love and grace. I have surrendered ownership of my life’s plan to Him. I no longer worry about the future and how to achieve my next milestone. There are plenty of things I want to do and accomplish, but I relinquish the steering wheel to God from now on.
Being saved and having constant reminders of God’s grace in my life have brought me so much joy and peace of mind. I don’t stress about the future any more.